Sameness is highly valued-- sometimes. Sameness means it is a priority to be like others in being and doing. Sometimes this even means giving up who you are in order to be more connected to the group like teenagers often do. At other times, you are encouraged to be yourself. Figure out who you are. There can be very mixed messages about being the same or being different. Where do you fit? Do you strive to be the same or do you strive to be different? You may feel that if you are first accepted and approved of by the group, then you can afford to be distinct. For many, the path to allowing your differences comes after you realize you are comfortable with yourself. When you are comfortable with you, you fit in anywhere you choose. Being yourself with all of your individuality is the most successful choice!
People think they will fit in if and when they are the same. A pivotal time to be the same is during adolescence. One’s life or death with respect to popularity can ride on being the same and fitting cohesively in the group. Fitting into the group means wearing certain clothes, using common language, having particular beliefs and hanging out with specific people. Teens spend a massive amount of energy on sameness. They do that to feel comfortable.
It can be that once people truly understand they fit in, they have the confidence to be different. If each person has a unique gift, then it is important to be unique. To live that gift means to stand alone in giving the gift that only you have. Certainly you can align with others in supportive relationships, however only you can deliver your gift.
The people who are considered noteworthy in the world dared to be different. People who take a stand to live their truth are able to tolerate dissention. They are able to be different because they are able to tolerate the resistance and disapproval of others. It is work to have people going against you. It is work to go against the flow rather than succumb to the flow. For when you are different, when you live your gifts, and when you stand up for your truths, you will at some point feel alone.
It takes courage to feel that sense of aloneness. It takes daring to be separate from the crowd. And that is where your own flow is. That is where you feel the passion of being fully alive. That is where you feel the dare in being different. Nelson Mandela lived his truth. People were for him and people were against him. He still remained true to himself with courage and perseverance. His life was full with his focus. He built support from dissention as depicted in the movie Invictus.
If your life feels flat, think about living more fully. Think about being more of who you are. Go ahead and summon your courage. Be you whether it feels the same or different than others. Give yourself the permission to live your gift and your life. Dare to be different. Dare to be you! Do it by first getting comfortable with and accepting yourself.
